Be Brave...Let Change Start With You

*trigger warning-sexual abuse*

Today I was thinking about someone who I've always been close to, who very badly hurt the people he loved most in the world.

I thought about the damage he had done and the innocence he had taken. And with tears welling up in my eyes...I thought "You fucker. How dare you do that to them!?"

Then I instantly pictured his face when he was small, and I saw his broken eyes, when a person who loved him most, badly hurt him.

And I thought of that person that hurt him, and all of my anger welled up again. I thought "You fucker. How dare you do that to him!?"

And then I instantly pictured his face when he was small too. And I saw his broken eyes, when a person who loved him most, badly hurt him.

And then it hit me...

The pattern of the abuse had gone so far back that I couldn't find the start. And then I really cried. And I realized that I truly don't even know who to blame.

The new victims?

The old victims?

The victims of the ones before that?

And I came to understand just today...that there is no blame that I want to throw at any one of them. They are acting from a place where love was misused on them.

The only thing that can now be done is to start today to break this chain. To stop all of the suffering in the silence. This cycle has to stop. The abuse has to end. The truth has to be talked about so we can start the process of healing. And the beginning of understanding.

Sometimes it's so easy to not understand. And to start to hate. And to shun the guilty. And even to blame the victims. What in the world could any of that possibly change though?

It's true...I may not be able to see the beginning. And I certainly have trouble seeing the end.

So I have decided that the only gift I have left (since I have also been a direct victim in this same cycle), is the gift of my love. And the promise that I will never intentionally hurt another soul. I never ever ever want another person to feel the pain I have felt at the misdirected love of others.

I will hold the hope that every single victim can also find the faith to go on, like I have. And that they will find all of the beautiful parts of this life that they deserve to have. I will send my unconditional love to every single one of them. And I will do my part to not pretend that any of this has ever been ok.

***I wrote this quite awhile ago, from a deep place of pain. That pain has resurfaced after learning that decisions are about to be made about this particular situation.

My love and prayers are with everyone involved. The victims, the ones who have repeated the cycle of abuse, and the ones who are doing their very best to understand, and who love them all too. There is light to be found and change really can come. We are breaking this cycle by standing up and refusing to ignore it any longer. And I am proud of every one of you who are being brave enough to face this.

If you are currently the victim of any type of abuse, please seek help. You are not as alone as you feel. And there are many more of us who understand than you might think. There is a good life waiting for you on the other side of the pain...I promise.☼

~~~~~

As always...I love you SO much and I hope that you have every great and wonderful thing that you can possibly imagine in this world. You are amazing and you deserve to love your life.

Love, Tami ♥

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